Encouragement and Challenge for Fathers

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.  Ephesians 5:25  NIV

   Father’s Day is great time to be reminded of the important truth that one of the best things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.  Even if you are a divorced father, one of the best things you can do for your kids is to treat their mother with kindness and respect.

   The Apostle Paul calls husbands to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  Giving yourself up for your wife is not just for big moments, it’s for the million little parts of life – daily decisions about schedules and plans and raising the kids.  When husbands don’t give up themselves for their wives, it’s a form of giving up on their marriage.  That may seem like the easy and acceptable thing to do today, but giving up on our marriage hurts many lives. 

   It is possible to raise active and healthy children and have a healthy marriage.   It’s possible if parents put God first , their spouse second and then the kids.  If we keep God first by daily walking with him and praying in all circumstances, he will give us the daily bread we need to keep our marriage strong and to raise healthy kids.  Here are three ideas to put this week’s SPA into practice.

• If you are married, identify one way that you can show your spouse this week how valuable they are to you.

• If you are married with children, identify one way that you can show your kids this week how valuable your spouse is to you. Is a date night overdue?

• If you are single, pray for some of your married friends to have strength and wisdom to maintain strong and vibrant marriages.

- This SPA co-created with my Community Alliance Church friend, Moriah D'Amico

Giving the Gift of Time and Space to Grow

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?      Romans 2:4  NIV

    

    Forbearance requires slowing down to think.  It requires stepping into the shoes of another person to understand the challenges they are facing and to get a  glimpse of the pain that they feel.  We often want others to change or grow faster than they are changing or growing, without taking the time to understand the loss that change will bring to their lives or the obstacles that keep them from moving forward.

   The best way to open our hearts to let the Spirit grow forbearance in our lives is by reflecting on the forbearance that God has with us.  When you learn truth from Scripture, are you always instantly excited to change your life?  When God allows a difficult change to come into your life, do you always quickly embrace it?  The answer to both questions is clearly no.

    So whose shoes do you need to step into this week?  Are you expecting coworkers to adapt to your new idea as quickly as you?  Are you expecting your children to make better decisions than you did at their age?  Are you expecting your spouse to adjust to news that they just heard but that you known for weeks?

   This week, set aside some time to reflect, with God’s help, on a person with whom you have not been very forbearing.  What can you do to give them time and space to adjust and grow?  Are you praying for them or are you expecting them to change and grow without God’s help?  Ask God to help you discover one step that you can take this week to be more forbearing with this person.  Once you discover the step, ask the Holy Spirit to give you strength and wisdom to take it.

Being a Bridge Builder instead of a Wall Builder

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”   

 - Jesus in Matthew 5:9  NIV

    We have received righteousness as a gift from God through Christ and this righteousness has given us peace with God.  Peace with God makes it possible for us to enjoy personal peace as we confidently trust in the power, love and wisdom of our Heavenly Father.  We can have peace in all circumstances because we know that God is always working for our good.

    If we want to enjoy the blessing of peace to the fullest, we will share this blessing with others.  Because we know that God is working for our good and because we know God has our back, we can be peacemakers in this world full of conflict.  We don’t have to fight to get our own way.  We don’t have to worry whether or not we are being treated fairly.

    This week, start each day by asking God to show you where you can sow seeds of peace.  Here are some ideas, but be sure to ask God for ideas specific to your life.

•  Pray for an existing conflict in the world. 

•  Do something kind for a difficult person in your workplace.

•  Seek to connect with a friend who has been distanced from you.

Remember, God’s people are bridge builders, not wall builders.

Letting Go of Rule Keeping and Embracing the Kingdom of God

 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”  - Jesus in Matthew 13:44  NIV

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:12  NIV 

    Joy is normal for believers in Christ.  If joy is missing from our lives then we need to ask God to show us how His joy can be restored in us.

    The most common joy thief is reducing the Christian life to keeping a list of rules.  When  our focus is on keeping the rules, we are on a sure path to one of two joyless destinations.  If we are good at rule keeping, then we become prideful. Then, instead of finding joy in our relationships, we are often critical of others.  If we  are not so good at rule keeping, we become more and more frustrated with ourselves.  We will become discouraged or maybe even depressed.  Both of these paths lead to frustration and disappointment with the Christian life.  

    This does not mean that Christians don’t care about being good.  God is good and we want to be a reflection of Him.   What it does mean is that trying to be good by focusing on the rules does not work.

    So how do goodness and joy grow in our lives?  Both of them come from confidence in God.  We can have confidence that:

• We are fully accepted and loved by God.

• God’s ways are always the best ways.

• God will empower us to do his will and fill us with his goodness in this life.

• God will one day conquer all evil and restore everything with his goodness.

   This week, write down the above statements on an index card.  Read them several times a day.   Each time you read them, ask God to produce his goodness and joy in you and ask God to give you the daily bread you need to do his will.  After you ask, have confidence that God will give you your request.

A Little Help to Grow in Love

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.    Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love…This is love; not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  I John 4:7-8, 10-11

    Jesus commands us to love as He loved, to lay down our lives for one another, to show mercy, compassion, gentleness and grace to each other.  Unfortunately, we sometimes find this to be challenging, to say the least.  Even with those with whom it should be easiest; our family, friends, “loved ones”, we can struggle.  But, don’t be discouraged.

    Each day this week, take a moment to think about a person in your life and jot down a few things you love about that person.  Make sure you don’t just do the “easy” people, include some folks that require a little extra effort. Once you’ve reminded yourself of the things you love about these people, thank God for them, and find some way to let them know about it as well.  Send them a note, go give them an extra hug (if they’re nearby), make a phone call, bake them a treat, or do whatever you think might best affirm, encourage, and show them your love.

** This SPA written by one of my friends in Community Alliance Church, Nora Lasher  

Keeping in Step with the Holy Spirit

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.   Galatians 5:16, 22-23  NIV

   Growing in life means that sometimes we have to ask ourselves hard questions.  Galatians 5:16 challenges us to ask ourselves, “Do I really want the life of God that comes through the Holy Spirit? I may say I want life in the Spirit, but do I really want it?

  

   The word “flesh” in the New Testament (see the verse above) simply refers to natural human desire seeking to satisfy itself in the easiest way possible without any regard to the long term consequences or to how it effects others.  The flesh doesn’t care if its choices lead to addiction or if its choices hurt other people.  It doesn’t love, it lusts.  It doesn’t trust, it manipulates.  It doesn’t care about truth, it will lie to get what it wants.

   The Spirit, on the other hand, is focused on love.  When we walk by the Spirit, our desires our fulfilled, but not at the expense of others.  The Spirit makes it possible for us to enjoy all of God’s blessings while at the same time sharing his blessings with others.

   Paul tells us to walk by the Spirit, meaning that life in the Spirit is a humble partnership with the Spirit in every moment of life.  At first, this is extremely difficult.  Our flesh fights against the Spirit’s work in us.  But as we discover the good life the Spirit wants to share with us and learn to simply trust him, a habit of surrendering to the Spirit becomes a more and more consistent part of our lives.

   Do you want the good life of the Spirit?  Set aside some quiet time this week to honestly ask yourself this question and consider your answer.  If your answer is yes, then begin a habit of surrendering yourself to God and inviting the Holy Spirit to fill you with his life.  Start every day by letting the Holy Spirit know that you want to be completely filled with the kingdom life of God so that God's will can be done in your life just as it is done in heaven!  Continue to give yourself to Spirit throughout the day whenever it comes to your mind or when you are feeling tempted by your flesh to go against God's will.

Getting Spiritual Value Out of Driving Time

 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul   and with all your mind. ”This is the first and greatest   commandment.  And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself”.              Matthew. 22:37-39  NIV

   Many of us have daily commutes to work or other regular drives.  As we drive on highways and other roads, we see many signs that reveal our location, guide us to our destination, and provide for our safety.   One creative way to use our commutes or other drive times is to let the signs we see remind us that God is everywhere and always with us.  We can use signs like these to direct our thoughts to God. 

• A “Yield” sign can prompt us to give ourselves to God.

• A “Stop” sign can prompt us to confess our sin.

• A “Do Not Enter” sign could prompt us to ask for God’s grace to keep us  

   from temptation.

• A sign for our destination can remind us to focus on the joy of our ultimate

  destination in the new heaven and new earth. 

   

   The Bible provides the road map for life with God. In John 14:6 Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me”. “Where are you on this highway called life?  What do the signs say?  If you continue to travel down the current road, what will be your final destination? Are you going the wrong way?  If so, make a u-turn! Remember: we are as close to God as we choose to be. You know his ways are the best ways.  Choose to start each day by yielding to Jesus as your king. 

   This week, make sure you set aside time daily to read and think about God’s road map for living (the Bible).  Also, choose one day this week to be quiet as you drive and let the traffic signs you see to prompt you to live life with God. 

** This SPA created by a friend in my church, Ken Seeger.