Giving the Gift of Time and Space to Grow

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?      Romans 2:4  NIV

    

    Forbearance requires slowing down to think.  It requires stepping into the shoes of another person to understand the challenges they are facing and to get a  glimpse of the pain that they feel.  We often want others to change or grow faster than they are changing or growing, without taking the time to understand the loss that change will bring to their lives or the obstacles that keep them from moving forward.

   The best way to open our hearts to let the Spirit grow forbearance in our lives is by reflecting on the forbearance that God has with us.  When you learn truth from Scripture, are you always instantly excited to change your life?  When God allows a difficult change to come into your life, do you always quickly embrace it?  The answer to both questions is clearly no.

    So whose shoes do you need to step into this week?  Are you expecting coworkers to adapt to your new idea as quickly as you?  Are you expecting your children to make better decisions than you did at their age?  Are you expecting your spouse to adjust to news that they just heard but that you known for weeks?

   This week, set aside some time to reflect, with God’s help, on a person with whom you have not been very forbearing.  What can you do to give them time and space to adjust and grow?  Are you praying for them or are you expecting them to change and grow without God’s help?  Ask God to help you discover one step that you can take this week to be more forbearing with this person.  Once you discover the step, ask the Holy Spirit to give you strength and wisdom to take it.

Trusting God Helps Us Listen

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be   quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.                James 1:19  NIV

    

    We often don’t think of listening as connected to trusting God but there is a strong correlation between the two.  One reason for a lack of listening is a lack of trust that God is in control and is working for our good.  Here are three examples of how a lack of trust produces poor listening.

•  We may be afraid that we won’t get our chance if we don’t speak first and often. 

•  We may be fearful and interpret someone’s disagreement with us as a personal attack. 

•  We may act selfishly to get our own way rather than listening for a way that is good for us and the others with us.

  On the flip side, a stronger trust in God  gives us a peace inside us that empowers us to give others a chance to speak.  

• Trust in God keeps us from worrying about people disagreeing with us because we know God will protect the truth. 
• Trust in God allows us to be humble and be open to changing our minds if someone presents a good idea.  
• Trust in God helps us be patient and look for ways that are good for everyone involved.

   This week, take these two steps to help you grow in trust and in listening.

     1.  Start each day with this simple prayer.  “Father, I trust you.  You are the defender of truth and you are working for my good.  Please give me grace to walk in your truth and to listen to others so that love can grow and truth can be shared.”

     2.  Choose one day and make it your goal to ask every person you meet that day at least two questions before you tell them anything.  Listen well as they answer your questions.  Seek to understand what they are saying with their words and actions.